One day, I realized that I was in love. No matter how small the spark was, yeah, it was love. But then, I slowly realized that there was also hate.
“The opposite of love is not hate, its indifference,” Martin Luther once said. Being in love is a heavenly feeling. Somehow, you wouldn’t even notice it. It makes you smile a lot, lightens your spirit and levitates your soul. The indisputable part, you have happiness and as likely as not, you can spread it like a virus.
Being indifferent isn’t a good feeling. Sometimes, it would annoy you. It would lead to irritation. Presumptively to infection, and the worst thing is complication.
One fine day when all my hopes we’re up, I expressed myself through actions. She just laughed at me when I told her how I felt. The second time I told her was through words and she replied with mere silence. Almost everyday, I hope she feels that nothing has changed on my behavior or perception towards her. But the time came, I did not tell her anything. I just chose not to.
The last time, I wasn’t able to tell her because I was already afraid.
Is it the time to hate? How do you hate someone? Is it by feeling indifferent? If I can just shut down my amygdala, I had already done it. But I can’t hate her, for she would just be embossed in my brain and engraved in my heart.
The question would be, is it time to let her go? Letting go of what makes you happy is the meanest entity you could ever imagine. Not letting go is also keeping the hurt inside.
So I decided to love, because hate would not do anything positive to you. I don’t want to let go. I guess I will hold the pain forever if that is what it means to love you.
Slow-mo ang time ‘pag tayoy kasama
pro ang bagal naman ng panahon pag d tayo nagkikita.
Gustong gusto ko i-fast forward para masulyap lang yung mukha.
Push the play button at i-pause kapag kayakap ko na
Or i stop mo nalang kaya, para wag ka lang mawala
~ Kaye Matz